“Before you ask someone for something, make an assessment of whether or not they will be able to give it to you. If you are asking someone to listen to your problem, make sure they have the emotional maturity and the ability to help you. It is important to know who is capable of giving you what you want and who is not, and to not expect it from a source that can’t supply it. Just because you want it or just because you’re asking, doesn’t mean he or she is capable of giving it to you. Don’t ask a naked man to give you the shirt off his back.
The issue of support is a very important one in the infertility process. There is a big difference between being unreasonable and unrealistic. For instance, it is not unreasonable to want your husband to understand your feelings, but if your husband is an engineer who has never ventured into his right hemisphere or emotions in his entire life, it is just unrealistic, meaning it is unlikely. It’s not that your feelings are not worth being understood. It’s just that he doesn’t have the capacity. He’s strong in some other area. So part of what you need to do is direct those needs to the people and the places that can satisfy them, as opposed to just expecting one person or one situation to take care of every need.” The Aladdin Factor
This concept of realizing what others are capable of giving carries over to everyone that knows your fertility hopes and sorrows. You must be alert to the fact that your friends, parents, siblings, coworkers, and caregivers will not always know what you want them to say or do. There are so many inherent disappointments in the process of conceiving with assistance that I want you to know that you are cared about in your home away from home at P.A.R.I.N.T.S.