So, this year marks twenty years since we opened the doors at PARINTS and I have had the distinct pleasure of caring for many women in that time. We have suffered and celebrated together as we took the steps toward mothering. One thing that has been a very interesting lesson for me is the power of forgiving.
A quick story: I had a patient who came to me older than she wanted to be when she conceived: as you can imagine this is not an uncommon complaint, but she also had experienced two miscarriages.
Anyway, we worked together on four cycles without pregnancy but with a deepening of our relationship; and during this past month, she opened up to me even more. She shared that she needed to forgive herself; she had been holding herself responsible for not yet conceiving.
I shared what I call a pocket prayer, a small token written and held in our pocket or purse so when we touch it, we are reminded of what we need to work on, a very simple mindful technique. She appreciated that and planned to put it into use along with our care, acupuncture and other relaxation techniques.
I was thrilled when she contacted me yesterday with a positive pregnancy test, finally success for her. While we never know the reason why one month works and another does not, I cannot help but believe that when we show kindness to ourselves, we are healthier and more prepared.
I believe women are used to taking undeserved responsibility, I call it the cloak of guilt, and wrapping ourselves in this sense of failure when our bodies do not do what we were believing to be so easy. We also tend to others more easily and frequently than we do to ourselves; I can say this because I have learned this about myself and do not feel unique. So,
I offer some advice to anyone struggling, CARE about and for yourself. Forgive, forget, give your worry and heavy load to someone else for awhile and free that part of your life for goodness and blessings.
Wishing you much joy,